The first frightful thought that comes to mind when you’re diagnosed with herpes, be it oral or genital, is the social stigma that comes with it. Indeed, the word stigma best describes how some people feel after they’ve caught the virus, and most of the time not even their own fault.
Unfortunately, society is conditioned with putting scarlet letters on anyone that jumps out of the box, so herpes is often seen as something to be ashamed of, though it’s really not the case. The world is far from black and white and just because you’re having a health condition, it doesn’t mean that you should fear living your life the way you want to.
First of all, let’s get something straight – having herpes is not shameful! Would you be ashamed if you were susceptible to the flu every few months, as it is a virus, just like herpes? Not really. All you need is a small change of perspective.
Yes, herpes can definitely be a pestilence if outbursts happen often, but beside some discomfort and maybe annoying itching, your life will not be very much affected by it. It’s not the happiest of circumstances, but you’ll have to live with it for the rest of your life, so do as much as you can to make your life easier. Come to terms with your condition and move on. True, it’s not easy to accept that your sex life is changed forever, but the drama will only be as present as you allow it to be.
Second of all, don’t allow anybody to give you grief for having herpes! This is a big one. There are individuals who consider themselves dirty after they’ve been diagnosed. Then come other people with negative comments and the lack of understanding who just rub salt into the wound. Don’t let yourself or anybody else put you down, build a positive attitude of acceptance, always be honest with your potential sex partners and don’t fear anything, there’s no reason for fear.
Of course, one of the first questions to enter your mind will be “How will I ever date again?” Yes, you will date, and yes it will be fine. There are some points that you need to establish before you set sail to dating waters, but everything is more than manageable, as long as you’re doing what you feel is right.
Don’t be afraid to date. One of the first urges that come after you’ve realized you’ve got herpes is to exclude dating completely out of your social life. While this is OK until you get accustomed to your new situation, it shouldn’t be your excuse. Yes, there are definitely some obstacles in your path that you haven’t encountered before, but that doesn’t mean you should quit. Dealing with herpes means that you will be more careful in choosing your partner and that you will get to know them better before sharing your bed with them. In case you’re uncertain about your choices, there are some excellent online herpes dating sites that you can try out as a stepping stone.
Getting to know your potential partner better is very important. Because you’ll see your sexual life in a different light, you will become much more careful when it comes to it. Get to know the person you’ve started dating and see if there’s really something there or is it just lust. If you feel like you need to know someone more closely before you tell them about your health condition, then definitely do that. Don’t rush and try to be as comfortable with your potential partner as possible.
When you decide it’s time to tell them, do it without much hesitation. Things will go one way or another, but they will be resolved and you will know where you stand. Don’t justify yourself, talk about your condition calmly and be prepared to answer any questions they might have. You did the best you could, how the other person will react is up to them. Truth be told, some people will run away as fast as possible, be prepared for that, as it’s a part of life. Some people will simply shrug it away, but appreciate you telling them and like you even more for it. As long as you’re honest with yourself, you can’t go wrong.
Like we said in the first paragraph, there is a stigma attached to herpes, but only if you choose to see it that way. If you approach the situation as a mature adult, then you’ll quickly understand that there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of and that you’re free to date as much as you want.
